Tirukacchi Nambi

Here is a brief write-up about Sri Tirukacchi Nambi, one of the gurus of Sri Ramanujacharya. I am thankful to Sri.Mathre Rangarajan who gave me this article (originally written by Sri.Ranga Madabushi).

When Sri Tirukacchi Nambi was living in Poovirundavalli (a suburb of Chennai now known as Poonthamalli/Poonamalle), Sri Varadaraja Perumal of Kanchipuram came in his dreams and instructed him to proceed to Kanchipuram and do pushpa Kainkaryam to HIM. HE also showed Sri Nambi how to reach HIS place. According to the wishes of Perumal, Sri Tirukacchi Nambi created a Nandavanam in Poovirundavalli, spending all his wealth bequeathed from his father Sri Veeraraghava Chettiyar. The place was renamed as Poovirunthavalli (abounding with flowers) on the basis of the beautiful nandavanam (garden of flowers) created by Sri Tirukacchi Nambi. He used to make garlands out of the flowers from the garden daily and went by walk all the way to Kanchipuram (a distance of around 50 kms) and offered them to Perumal.

On seeing the tired Sri Tirukacchi Nambi while doing his pushpa kankaryam, Perarulala Perumal (another name of Sri Varadaraja in Kanchipuram) took pity on him and instructed him to stay in Kanchipuram itself and do alavatta (fan made of palm leaves covered with silk cloth) kainkaryam to cool HIM down of the heat as Perumal had came out of the sacred Fire. Thereafter Sri Nambigal was regularly doing Alavatta kaingaryam to Perumal and with great devotion, meticulously took great care of HIM. Perumal Devathirajan was very happy of HIS ardent devotee and decided to come out of HIS Archai posture (a prathista swaroopa of the Sacred Form) to have conversation with Sri Tirukacchi Nambi side by side every day. As ordered by Perarulalaperumal Sri Nambi got Pancha Samskaram (five regulations followed to be a true Srivaishnavan, viz. (1) to have *Samacharayanam by Acharya (2) to have Thiruman (3) to get self surrendered to Iswara (4) to get (through Acharya) the three sacred Mantras (5) to worship Bhagavan daily with bakthi)

One day when Sri Tirukacchi Nambi was conversing with Perumal he asked HIM when he will get Moksha. Perumal replied that he would get Moksha when he gets the Bhagavatha Abhimanam (to get the influence of an Acharya by doing kaingaryam to him).

Sri Tirukacchi Nambi decided to get Bhagavatha Abimanam from Sri Thirukotiyur Nambigal who was living in Srirangam. But he could not straight away request Sri Thirukotiyur Nambi to have him as his syshya. He first disguised himself as a cow keeper and started working in the Ashramam of Sri Thirukotiyr Nambi. Sri Tirukacchi Nambi adopted a unique method to attract Sri Thirukottiyur Nambi’s attention.

One day Sri Tirukotiyur Nambi noticed that Sri Tirukacchi Nambi had not returned to the Ashramam with the cow. It was raining at that time. Therefore Sri Thirukotiyur Nambi went in search of his cow keeper. He found Sri Tirukacchi Nambi in bare body lying on his cloths spread on the cow. When Sri Thirukotiyur Nambi asked the cow keeper why he was doing like that, Sri Tirukacchi Nambi told him that if the cow was drenched it would suffer from cold and if Sri Thirukotiyur Nambi drank the milk he would also catch cold. Therefore he was protecting the cow from the rain in order to save his master. On reaching the Ashram, Sri Thirukotiyur Nambi very much impressed by the reverence shown towards him of the cow keeper, offered him food. On successfully getting the abimanam of Sri Thirukotiyur Nambi, the cow keeper revealed that he was none other than Sri Tirukacchi Nambi and told him about the purpose of his visit.

There were innumerable incidents when Sri Perarulala Perumal came to the rescue of Sri Tirukacchi Nambi. One day the Rathna Haram (The Sacred Diamond Necklace) of Perumal was missing. When the King asked the Archakas how the necklace was missing, they told the king that Sri Tirukacchi Nambi only was always with Perumal and he is responsible for the missing necklace. The King arrested Sri Tirukacchi Nambi as he could not give any explanation. After 7 ½ hours, Perumal came in the dreams of the King and informed him that HE only kept the necklace hidden for 7 ½ hours in order to reduce the 7 ½ years of Sani Dasai which gripped Sri Tirukacchi Nambigal. The King realizing the attachment and closeness of Sri Tirukacchi Nambi with Sri Perarulala Perumal, released him immediately. Sri Tirukacchi Nambi rushed to Devaperumal sannadhi and fell at HIS lotus feet and outpoured his heart with tears of mystic feeling rendered the famous, auspicious prabandham “Devarajashtagam” in praise of Sri Varadaraja Perumal.

Before Sri Ramanuja took sanyasam, he was called Ilayazhwar. Sri Ilayazwar used to get all his doubts cleared by Perarulalaperumal through Sri Tirukacchi Nambi as he used to have conversation with Perumal directly. Once Sri Ilayazhwar was upset and sought the help of Sri Tirukacchi Nambi to get the matters solved which were churning his mind. When Sri Tirukacchi Nambi told Perumal about Sri Ilayazwar’s predicament, Perumal asked Sri Nambi to convey the following six words to Sri Ilayazhwar:

(1) I am the Paratathvam (I am Paramathma (Supreme Being)
(2) The individual souls are different from Paramaatma (Chith, Achith and Iswara/Paramathma)
(3) The solution is Saranagathi (to attain salvation self surrender at my feet)
(4) No need for last remembrance (about ME) when the soul is departing
(5) Moksha at the last stage of body (Moksha can be obtained only on laying off mortal body)
(6) Seek refuge at the feet of Periya Nambi (Get the Panchasamaskarathigal* from Sri Periya Nambi).

Sri Ilayazhwar was very happy as he was having the same thoughts and Perumal confirmed them through Sri Tirukacchi Nambi.

Sri Tirukacchi Nambi lived for many more years doing alavatta kainkaryam to Sri Perarulala Perumal and continued to have personal kataksham from Sri Varadaraja Perumal. In view of this our elder learned scholars say that Sri Tirukacchi Nambi had his Prathista Swaroopa (Archa Thirumeni) installed in Poovirundavalli even when he was alive.

Entrepreneurship or Nuisance

Up the road from my house in Jayanagar 4th Block, Bangalore is an immensely popular restaurant named Mayya’s. And since eating out is extremely popular too, this restaurant is doing roaring business all the time.

There are throngs of people on the footpath(sidewalk) outside the restaurant, many times spilling out onto the roads as well. These are people waiting in line to get in, or those just hanging out after a meal. There is also a “darshini” style coffee bar which has its own crowd of people standing on the sidewalks and the roads drinking coffee.

Over the past few days, I am seeing a new addition to this milieu. There are now all sorts of peddlers selling their wares to this captive set of customers. “Captive” because these are customers who are not going to move for some time and will stick around till they get into the restaurant or finish their chit-chat/coffee.

These peddlers sell things like balloons, toys for kids, posters of Gods and Goddesses, ear buds, etc. Some of them carry the things they are selling, while others use what little space they can find on the footpath to spread their stuff.

Would you call these peddlers heights of entrepreneurship or heights of nuisance?

Maxims in Sanskrit / लौकिकन्याया: / ಲೌಕಿಕನ್ಯಾಯಾ:

A maxim is defined as “an expression of general truth or principle”. They are specifically used when characterizing a situation. In Sanskrit literature, many such maxims occur. They are known as “nyayas” and usually take the form of a common occurrence or a story that can be applied as an aphorism to sum up an event, situation or circumstance.

Many of these, though based on stories or incidents that might have occurred in the past, are as relevant today as they were then.

Here are some of the interesting “nyayas” alongwith brief explanations.

अरुन्धतीदर्शनन्याय: / ಅರುಂಧತೀದರ್ಶನನ್ಯಾಯ: / Arundhathidarshana Nyaya

During a wedding ceremony, the bride and the groom pray and worship the Arundhati star (see my article on wedding rituals). In the constellation known as the saptarishi, Arundhati is a small star and hard to locate. So, the couple are first shown the bigger Vasishta star first, which is more easily spotted. And then the smaller Arundhati star next to it is pointed out.

Similarly, when a student is to be taught something hard to grasp, the topic needs to be broached from simpler concepts to harder ones.

गुड्डरिकाप्रवाहन्याय: / ಗುಡ್ಡರಿಕಾಪ್ರವಾಹನ್ಯಾಯ: / Guddarikapravaaha Nyaya

Guddarika means a flock of sheep. This maxim refers to the movement of a flock of sheep. Each sheep blindly follows the sheep in front of it without any thought. If the first one falls into a pit, then the one behind it is sure to fall into the pit too.

When a person blindly copies another person without any thought to abilities, consequences, etc, and ends up in trouble, this maxim can be applied.

काकतालीयन्याय: / ಕಾಕತಾಲೀಯನ್ಯಾಯ: / Kaakathaaleeya Nyaya

A crow files down and sits on a palm tree. Coincidentally, a leaf breaks loose from the tree and falls down. The two incidents are unrelated, and only occurred at the same time.

This maxim is applied when two unrelated events happen to occur at the same time.

भिक्षुपादप्रसारन्याय: / ಭಿಕ್ಷುಪಾದಪ್ರಸಾರನ್ಯಾಯ: / Bhikshupaadaprasara Nyaya

A beggar had no place to live in or even to stretch his legs. A kindly man offered him a place to lie down (stretch his legs). Eventually, the beggar occupied the entire house, throwing out the owner himself.

This maxim is applied when somebody takes advantage of the goodness/kindness of another person.

घट्टकुटीप्रभातन्याय: / ಘಟ್ಟಕುಟೀಪ್ರಭಾತನ್ಯಾಯ: / Ghattakuteeprabhata Nyaya

A toll booth or toll gate is known as ghattakutee. Once a person was travelling in a bullock cart on a road and was near a toll booth around nightfall. Not intending to pay a toll, this person took a deviation from the main road to bypass the toll booth and thought of joining the main road again beyond the toll booth. But in the darkness, he lost his way and travelled around in circles the whole night. At dawn, he figured that he was back at the toll booth which he had wanted to avoid.

This maxim is quoted when a lot of efforts by somebody does not produce the desired results. This maxim is equivalent to the English “penny-wise pound-foolish” maxim.

घुणाक्षरन्याय: / ಘುಣಾಕ್ಷರನ್ಯಾಯ: / Ghunaakshara Nyaya

Ghuna refers to the wood borer termite that eats into timber. Sometimes while making incisions into the wood, it makes cuts that resemble a letter of the alphabet or some other meaningful shape. The worm has no knowledge of this and does not make incisions with the intent of drawing a shape.

This maxim is quoted if something unintentional is done or produced while doing something else.

देहलीदीपन्याय: / ದೆಹಲೀದೀಪನ್ಯಾಯ: / Dehalideepa Nyaya

“Threshold” is known as dehali in Sanskrit. When you place a lamp on a threshold, it sheds light both inside and outside.

Similarly, when you can achieve two results with a single task or activity, then this maxim can be quoted.

सूचीकटाहन्याय: / ಸೂಚೀಕಟಾಹನ್ಯಾಯ: / Soochikataaha Nyaya

Soochi refers to a needle and Kataaha refers to a frying pan. Once a man went to a blacksmith and asked him to make a frying pan for him. In the meantime, another person walked into the blacksmith’s store and asked him for a needle. The blacksmith decided to make the needle first before making the frying pan as the needle would take lesser time to make than the frying pan.

This maxim is quoted when there are multiple jobs/activities to be completed and priority is assigned to them based on the duration of each job.

पिष्टपेषणन्याय: / ಪಿಷ್ಟಪೆಷಣನ್ಯಾಯ: / Pishtapeshana Nyaya

Flour is pistham and the act of pounding is peshanam. Once grain has been pounded, it is converted into flour. There is no point in pounding the flour again.

This maxim is used when somebody says the same thing over and over again or does the same thing again and again (with no change in results).

अन्धगजन्याय: / ಆಂಧಗಜನ್ಯಾಯ: /  Andhagaja Nyaya

This maxim is based on a popular story. A few blindmen wanted to understand what an elephant looked like. And so they all went and touched one.

One of them touched the trunk and thought it was like the stem of the banana plant. Another touched its belly, and thought it was like a wall. The third touched the elephant’s ear and that it was like a winnow (ಮೊರ). With their different perspectives, the blind men started an argument about what the elephant looks like.

This maxim is very apt when people get into an argument over things that they do not understand completely or correctly.

कूपखानकन्याय: / ಕೂಪಖಾನಕನ್ಯಾಯ: / Koopakhaanaka Nyaya

When a person starts digging the ground to construct a well, he will get dirt and mud all over himself. He will also get very tired in the process of digging the well. However, once he strikes water, he can use that water to clean himself and also drink it and relieve his fatigue.

This maxim is quoted when somebody has to endure discomfort and do a lot of hardwork. But, ultimately, when the fruits of the labour are reaped, there is adequate reward and all the hardships and discomfort are forgotten.

मात्स्यन्याय: / ಮಾತ್ಸ್ಯನ್ಯಾಯ: / Maatsya Nyaya

In the waters of this world, there are many different kinds of fish that live. And invariably the food chain involves, bigger fish eating smaller ones. The roles of predator and prey are like a chain. The predator of one fish is the prey of another and so on.

This maxim is quoted to signify a similar hierarchy in the human society. There are different kinds of people living in society. And invariably, it is observed that the stronger ones oppress the weaker ones.

अन्धपङ्गुन्याय: / ಆಂಧಪಂಗುನ್ಯಾಯ: / Andhapangu Nyaya

A blind man is known as an andha. And a lame person is a pangu. Once a blind man and a lame man wanted to reach the same destination. And so they decided to co-operate. The blind man carries the lame man on his shoulder and starts walking. The lame man directs the blind man on the right path and helps him avoid obstacles on the way. Thus, both of them reach their destination.

This maxim can be applied when two people with complimentary qualities co-operate and work together to achieve a goal.

वृद्धकुमारीवाक्यन्याय: / ವೃದ್ಧಕುಮಾರೀವಾಕ್ಯನ್ಯಾಯ: / Vruddhakumarivaakya Nyaya

There was once an old unmarried lady who was very righteous and God-fearing. Once Lord Indra was pleased with her and he offered her a single boon. Being a very clever lady, she asked for a boon thus - “My children must eat plenty of ghee and milk from a golden plate”.

In a single sentence, she achieved a lot. Firstly, to get married and have children, she had to be turned younger. And then she was blessed to have many chidlren. And she had to be blessed with prosperity so that her children could eat well on golden plates. Thus, a single sentence spoken by the old lady achieved many results.

This maxim is quoted when a single expression or sentence has many meanings or when many things are achieved by using simple, short sentences or acts.

बकबन्धप्रयासन्याय: / ಬಕಬಂಧಪ್ರಯಾಸನ್ಯಾಯ: / Bakabandhaprayaasa Nyaya

Once there was a crane standing in a pond. Two friends who were passing by decided to catch the crane. One of them came up with an idea. He suggested that they first put some butter on the head of the crane. Once the butter melts in the sun, it would have obscured the eyesight of the bird and then they could catch the bird easily.

The other friend pointed out that if they could get to the bird and put butter on its head, they could actually catch the bird then itself.

This maxim is quoted when a simple job is unnecessarily complicated.

शतपत्रपत्रशतभेदन्याय: / ಶತಪತ್ರಪತ್ರಶತಭೇದನ್ಯಾಯ: / Shatapatrapatrashatabheda Nyaya

A needle can be poked very easily through a hundred lotus petals if the petals are kept in an orderly fashion next to each other. Even though the needle went through a hundred petals, the task is done easily and very quickly.

Similarly, if many tasks needs to be performed, they can be completed quickly and easily, if everything is organized and carried out in an orderly fashion. This maxim is quoted in such situations.

उष्ट्रलगुडन्याय: / ಉಷ್ಟ್ರಲಗುಡನ್ಯಾಯ: / Ushtralaguda Nyaya

Laguda refers to a stick. Camels are used as beasts of burden and sometimes carry a load of sticks on its back. To goad it on its way, the camel is threatened with one of the very same sticks that it is carrrying on its back.

This maxim is quoted when, in an argument, a person is defeated using his own logic.

श्वश्रूर्निर्गच्छोक्तिन्याय: / ಶ್ವಶ್ರೂರ್ನಿರ್ಗಚ್ಛೋಕ್ತಿನ್ಯಾಯ: / Shvashroornirgachchokti Nyaya

Once a beggar came to a house begging for alms. The daughter-in-law of the house turned him away without giving him anything. As he was walking away, the mother-in-law of the house came out and asked the begger to come back. Elated, he came back hoping to get some alms. However, the mother-in-law said, “I am the boss of this house. My daughter-in-law has no authority to send you back. I am telling you now that I will not give you anything. Go”.

This maxim is used when an easy method to accomplish something is condemned and a more labourious method is used to achieve the same result.

अशोकवनिकान्याय: / ಅಶೋಕವನಿಕಾನ್ಯಾಯ: / Ashokavanika Nyaya

When Ravana abducted Sita, he kept her a prisoner in a garden known as Ashokavana. Was there any reason he chose that place while he could have kept her a prisoner in a prison, jail or palace? He chose the garden for no special reason and kept her there.

This maxim is quoted when some decisions are taken for no specific reason.

गुडजिह्विकान्याय: / ಗುಡಜಿಹ್ವಿಕಾನ್ಯಾಯ: /  Gudajihvika Nyaya

To coax a child to eat a bitter medicine, a piece of jaggery is first smeared on the child’s tongue. Looking forward to the sweet taste again, the child opens its mouth even for the medicine. And eats the medicine thinking it would be sweet like the jaggery.

This maxim is quoted when an incentive is used to persuade a person to do something.

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As you read through this article, I am sure you would have been reminded of events or circumstances where each of these “nyayas” would have applied. Do take the effort to use these in your day-to-day conversations so that others around you also become aware of them.

Vivaha Samskara (ವಿವಾಹ ಸಂಸ್ಕಾರಗಳು / विवाहसम्स्कारा:)

In Indian traditions, marriage is considered as one of the most important rites or samskara that a human being undergoes. And that importance is very evident in our society even today, where a marriage is considered the most important decision a person takes in their life.

Everything about that is special and in this age of “conspicuous consumption”, everything about the wedding is getting more and more exaggerated. Months of planning and preparation go into this event, wedding dresses are elaborately planned (not only for the bride and the groom), elaborate menus are worked out with numerous delicacies, and so on.

However, what gets the least importance is the actual set of rituals prescribed in the dharma shastras for the wedding ceremony. Most brides and bridegrooms go through these ritual with scant understanding of what the rituals signify or what the mantras they are asked to utter imply. This, I think, is extremely unfortunate. Because these mantras are loaded with enormous meaning and the couple, if they follow the rituals with an understanding of what they are doing, will surely find that their wedding day is further enriched by these rituals.

With a couple of back-to-back weddings in my family coming up, I wanted to write an article giving a brief description of each step in a typical marriage ceremony based on the dharma shastras. Hopefully, the couples getting married will benefit from this, and others will just find this interesting reading.

Meaning of Vivaha

Let us first look at the meaning of the word विवाह:/ವಿವಾಹ:. This word is based on the Sanskrit root “वह/ವಹ”. This root means to carry or to deliver from one place to another. This is the same root that gives us Indian language words like वाहन/ವಾಹನ or English words like “vehicle”.

The word vivaha is meant to signify a “special” delivery or “special” bringing together of a bride and the groom.

There are other words like pariNaya/परिणय/ಪರಿಣಯ or udhvAha/उद्वाह/ಉದ್ವಾಹ  which also have similar meanings.

As discussed in an earlier article that I have written, the shastras describe different kinds of marriages which we will not go into here.

Let us now look at some of the rituals involved in a marriage ceremony.

Chappara/ಚಪ್ಪರದ ಪೂಜೆ

This is a ritual usually done the day before the wedding or on an auspicious day close to the wedding. A pandal or chappara is erected in front of the groom’s and bride’s houses. The North-East pole/pillar of the pandal is to be installed with the help of the bride or the groom, who then worship that pole with turmeric, kumkuma, flowers, dhoopa etc. Milk is then poured to the base of the pole. The poles are then setup in clock-wise order – South East, South West and then North West (these directions are not the cardinal directions, but the positions of the poles in the pandal).

After the pandal is fully setup, the bride or the groom is made to stand under the pandal and an aarathi (and ಈಡುಕಾಯಿ) are performed.

This ritual is mainly to indicate to the people in the surrounding areas that a ceremony is going to be celebrated in the family. Also, in the past, when weddings were performed at home, the pandal outside the house provided a place of shelter and shade for the guests at the wedding.

Jaanivaasam/ಜಾನಿವಾಸಮ್

In the past - where the groom’s family typically hailed from a different family than the bride - when the groom and his family arrived at the bride’s village, they would first pay a visit to the local temple to obtain the blessings of the local deity for the wedding. The bride’s family would also visit the groom and his family at the temple and offer them refreshments (after their journey) and other necessary ingredients for them to freshen up (such as water, sandalwood paste, etc). The groom and his family would then be taken to the bride’s house/Kalyana Mantapa in a procession through the streets of the village with a vadya (nadaswaram).

The main idea behind this was to let the groom and his family to visit the local temple, freshen up before reaching the bride’s family and also allow the people from the bride’s village to see the groom. Today, the jaanivasam is celebrated mainly in communities from Tamil Nadu. The procession of the groom through the bride’s village is very similar to the baaraat celebrated by North Indian communities.

Varapooja/ವರಪೂಜೆ

The ceremony to honour the groom and his family when they arrive at the bride’s house (or the Kalyana Mantapa, these days) is known as varapooje. In the past, this was a very simple occasion with the groom and his family being welcomed into the house and offered refreshments and made comfortable (just like all guests were). But today, this has become a pretty elaborate affair. Also, what is celebrated as Varapooja today has just developed out of social obligations and has no basis in the Dharma Shastras. Today, it is only amongst the Mandayam Srivaishnava community that there is no “varapooja” celebrated.

This ceremony has no special significance as per the dharma shastras.

Kadale-Bella Shastra/ಕಡಲೇಬೆಲ್ಲದ ಶಾಸ್ತ್ರ

The mother of the groom gives the bride some kadale (ಕಡಲೇ) and some jaggery (ಬೆಲ್ಲ) with thamboola and does an arathi for the bride. The bride then gives away the kadale and the jaggery to a worthy Brahmin.

Kadale is believed to be a favourite of Brihaspati (Jupiter, the guru of all the devas). The bride is blessed with kadale so that she has the blessings of Brihaspati in ensuring that all the activities that she performs in her future household are done without any obstacles. Similarly, jaggery is a favourite of Mrutyunjaya (or Shiva). Giving the bride jaggery is for her to get Shiva’s blessings in ensuring that there are no untimely deaths in her household.

Nishcithartha/ನಿಶ್ಚಿತಾರ್ಥ

This ritual is different from what is known today as the “engagement” ceremony. This “nishchithartha” is what is  performed as part of the wedding ceremonies. Different communities celebrate this differently and at different stages of the wedding ceremony.

Amongst the Mandayam Srivaishnava community, this is celebrated on the morning of the wedding, while many other communities celebrate it the day before the wedding. The bride and her parents sit in an East facing position, while the groom and his parents sit in a North facing position. The bride’s family and the groom’s family exchange gifts for each other. The bride’s father decides to give his daughter as wife to the groom and announces the time for the kanyaadaanam ceremony. The groom’s family accepts this proposal.

Amongst Mandayam Srivaishnavas, this ceremony involves 5 women from the groom’s side honouring the bride with many gifts, fruits, sweets, etc.

In the past, there was no separate engagement ceremony that would take place long before the wedding. That is a more recent trend. The equivalent of this “engagement” ceremony was done just before the wedding ceremony took place.

Vrata Samaavartana/ವ್ರತಸಮಾವರ್ತನ

This ritual is performed only by the groom and involves the groom thanking all the Vedic deities, deities of knowledge and his gurus and ritually giving up his vows of Brahmacharya in anticipation of return to his household, and for taking up a family life. It is like a graduation ceremony.

Samaavartana means to return. This ritual signifies the return of the groom from the gurukula back to his house. While living at the gurukula, the bachelor student is bound by the rules of Brahmacharya. With this ritual, the groom thanks all the Vedic deities for assisting him in his learning, thanks his Guru and other members of the Gurukulam and gives up the vows of Brahmacharya that he had taken up during his Upanayanam.

The Wedding Day/ವೈವಾಹಿಕಮಹೋತ್ಸವ

On the morning of the wedding day, the first ritual in the morning is the ritual oil bath or the ಎಣ್ಣೆಶಾಸ್ತ್ರ. In some families this ritual bath is performed only for the bride or the groom, while in some families it is performed for the parents of the bride/groom as well.

If certain samskaaras such as the jaatakarma(ಜಾತಕರ್ಮ), naamakarana(ನಾಮಕರಣ), etc have not been performed for the bride/groom, then they are performed at this instance.

Naandhi/ನಾಂದೀ

The full technical name for this ritual is Naandhimukha Abhyudaya Shraaddha(ನಾಂದೀಮುಖ ಅಭ್ಯುದಯ ಶ್ರಾದ್ಧ). This ritual is common across most of the samskaaras performed as per the dharma shastras and are not restricted to just the wedding ceremony.

Every human being is born and leads a good life by the grace of his parents, grand parents, great grand parents and other ancestors. He attributes all his qualities, looks, etc to his ancestors. And hence, before performing any ritual, the performer of the ritual begins by first thanking his ancestors. By performing this ritual, it is believed that the ancestors of the performer (whether alive or not) will participate in the event with a lot of ananda and so, this ritual is called naandhimukha (happy faced) or just naandhi.

This ritual is performed differently by the Mandayam Srivaishnava community. The ancestors invoked include paternal great grand-parents, paternal grand parents, parents, and maternal grand parents. Each couple is welcomed with appropriate mantras and then gifts of clothes, grains, fruits, etc are given to a worthy person as a token for that couple.

The Groom’s rituals

As mentioned earlier, the groom is expected to have performed the vrata samaavarthana ritual before the wedding day. But in many cases, these days, the samaavarthana is done on the morning of the wedding day itself. The groom’s parents also perform a naandhi ceremony as described above.

The groom then decorates himself with chandana and wears a flower garland (these 2 are completely prohibited for a brahmachari as they are considered objects of pleasure). He also wears a plain white or white-dipped-in-turmeric-water dhoti tied in 5 places with 5 knots (kaccha/ಕಚ್ಚ). This is known as ಕಚ್ಚೆಪಂಚೆ or ಪಂಚಕಚ್ಚಂ. The groom also uses a walking stick, an umbrella and a fan (ಬೀಸಣಿಗೆ).

The groom then wears the second यज्ञोपवीतम्/ಜನಿವಾರ. This is to indicate that he has now undertaken the life of a grahastha or householder along with its rules and responsibilities.

Traditionally, the groom, his parents and bride’s parents should not have eaten anything since the morning of the wedding day till the kanyadaana ceremony is complete. However, amongst communities of Tamil Nadu, at this time, bride’s side gifts the groom with many eatables, primary among them being cream of milk or ಹಾಲುಕೋವಾ.

Worshipping the Ashwatha tree/ಅರಶಾಣಿ ಬಳಸುವುದು

This ritual is very specific to the Mandayama Srivaishnava community. The ashwatha (peepul) tree is considered holy all over India and is worshipped as a personification of Sriman Narayana (as Ashwathanarayana). In this ritual, the bride and her future sister-in-law worship the Ashwatha tree as if they are worshipping Narayana. They go around the tree 3 times tying a raw cotton string around the tree symbolizing the dressing up of the idol of Narayana.

The intent of this ritual is to pray for a happy married life and for long-lived progeny. The future sister-in-law also prays for a good life for her brother and for the growth of her father’s family. After the bride returns from this ceremony back to the Kalyana Mantapa, the groom goes on a Kaashiyatra.

Kaashiyatra/ಕಾಶಿಯಾತ್ರೇ

In ancient India, everybody obtained their education from a gurukulam. After their stay in the gurukulam, the students returned home to begin the life of a householder. However, some who wanted to pursue their education further would go to Kashi which had scholars of different branches of knowledge teaching there. Going to Kashi for further learning is similar to the current scenario of going to a university to get a master’s degree or for higher education.

The whole kaashiyatra episode of a wedding is just based on a traditional story and has no basis in the dharma shastras.

The story goes that there was once a boy who finished learning all that he could from a gurukulam and came back home. But his thirst for knowledge was not quenched and so he wanted to learn more and was pondering whether he should go to Kaashi for further studies. To get his dilemma resolved, he met a knowledgeable Brahmin and asked him, “Should I go to Kaashi to further my education or should I enter the life of a householder or is it better still if I directly take up Sanyaasashrama and live the life of an ascetic?”. The Brahmin is said to have replied, “Oh knowledgeable man, marry my daughter who is very worthy of you. She will help you with furthering your knowledge, help you lead the life of a householder, and join you in taking up sanyaasa when the time comes for it.”. This resolved the boy’s dilemma and he agreed to get married.

The kaashiyatra ritual that is celebrated today is just a re-enactment of this episode.

Exchanging of garlands/ಮಾಲಿಕಾರೋಪಣ

After the groom decides not to go to Kaashi, the father of the bride honours him thaamboola and asks him to enter his house or the Kalyana Mantapa. In the meantime, the bride is all decorated and holding a garland in her hand, she is standing waiting under the pandal/ಚಪ್ಪರ. In many communities, traditionally, this was the first time that the bride and the groom saw each other.

In some communities, the bride and the grooms are carried on the shoulders of their maternal uncles when they exchange garlands. The bride and the groom exchange garlands 3 times. All 3 times, the respective maternal uncle is expected to give the garland to the hands of the bride and the uncle.

While exchanging garlands, the bride is expected to be facing East, while the groom is facing the West.

Amongst many communities, immediately after the exchange of garlands, the bride and the groom are made to sit on a swing and offered gifts by their maternal uncles. Care should be taken that the bride is sitting to the left of the groom. Also, the bride and the groom should not touch each other.

From this instance till a period of one year of completion of the marriage, the bride and the groom are to be considered as Lakshmi and Narayana and are to be honoured as such.

Kanyadaana (giving away the bride)/ಕನ್ಯಾದಾನ

This is probably the most important ritual in the wedding ceremony and signfies the actual wedding of the bride and the groom. They are considered as a married couple after this ceremony is complete. The shastras specifically state that the bride should have eaten something before the kanyadaana ceremony.

The parents of the bride first pray to their favourite deities notifying them first that they are giving away their daughter as a bride, and request that she be blessed with a long life, prosperity, good health, children, grand-children, happiness and peace.

The father of the bride then sits on a bag of paddy and seats his daughter on his lap. He then gives his daughter a thamboola to hold (betel leaves, betel nuts, coconut) with tulasi leaves and flowers and she holds this in both her hands. Sitting East facing, he then requests the groom to stand in front of him facing the bride and hold her hands with both his hands.

The kanyadaana muhurtha is then announced to everybody assembled and the ancestry of the bride and the groom is announced to all. This is known as the pravaravaachana/ಪ್ರವರವಾಚನ and is conducted like an announcement - “X’s great granddaughter, Y’s granddaughter and Z’s daughter named A, a personification of Mahalakshmi, is being given away to P’s great grandson, Q’s grand son, R’s son named B, a personification of Narayana”. This is repeated multiple times with the intention of everybody (including the Devas) hearing this clearly.

As with all donations (daanams) in Indian culture, the act of giving involves the wife of the giver pouring water over the hands of the giver and the receiver to signify the giving away. The same is applied here. The water is poured by the mother of the bride in such a way that it falls on the coconut, then on the bride’s hands and then on the groom’s hands.

The father of the bride recites these mantras addressing the groom -

“Oh Vishnu! I am giving away this daughter of mine, who is all auspicious and is well decorated, to you so that you can live happily with her”

“I am giving away this daughter to you with Bhoodevi (Mother Earth), the five elements (Earth, Fire, Air, Water, Ether) and all the devatas as witnesses”

“With the intention that you and my daughter will lead a life with the right Dharma (right living), right Artha (material pursuits), right Kama (desire), I am giving away this righteous daughter of mine to you”

“My daughter is like the personification of Lakshmi and I see the personification of Narayana in you. By giving away this daughter of mine to you, I put a condition on you that you should never do any act (whether it pertains to Dharma, Artha or Kama) without my daughter or without her knowledge”

The groom then replies that he accepts the bride. This completes the kanyaadana. It should be ensured that the kanyadaana happens during the time fixed as the muhurtham.

Making the promise/ಪ್ರಮಾಣವಚನ ಸ್ವೀಕಾರ

The father of the bride again elicits a promise from the groom. Addressing the groom, he says, “धर्मे च अर्थे च कामे च नातिचरितव्या/ಧರ್ಮೇ ಚ ಅರ್ಥೇ ಚ ಕಾಮೇ ಚ ನಾತಿಚರಿತವ್ಯಾ” i.e. you should not do any act pertaining to dharma, artha or kaama without my daughter or without her knowledge.

To this, the groom replies, “धर्मॆ च अर्थॆ च कामे च नातिचरामि/ಧರ್ಮೇ ಚ ಅರ್ಥೇ ಚ ಕಾಮೇ ಚ ನಾತಿಚರಾಮಿ” i.e. I will not do any act of dharma, artha or kaama without her or without her knowledge.

Udvaaha/ಉದ್ವಾಹ

The bride and the groom then start the set of rituals known as the udvaaha rituals. Udvaaha means to elevate or to rise up. The couple (with the bride to the left of the groom) first seek the blessings of the guests and then request two married women establish the holy fire in the homa kunda (altar of fire).

Madhuparka/ಮಧುಪರ್ಕ

Madhuparka is a mixture of honey and curds (yoghurt). In some communities, ghee (ತುಪ್ಪ) and puffed rice (ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ) is also added to the mixture. Madhuparka is used as a way of honouring any scholar who has completed the study of the Vedas.

And thus, after the kanyadaana ceremony, the father of the bride honours his new son-in-law with the Madhuparka. The father also gives his daughter and son-in-law a cow as gift for their household. These days, instead of a cow, a coconut is given to the couple symbolizing the gift of the cow.

Placing of the yoke/ಯುಗಸ್ಥಾಪನಮ್

This ritual is based on the story of a lady named Apaala. Once there was a lady named Apaala. She had a long cherished dream of getting married to a suitable boy and then perform many yagnas and homas with her husband to worship Indra and the other devatas. However, she was afflicted with leprosy, and so, no boy willing to get married to her. And so, her dream remained unfulfilled.

Once while she had gone to a river to bathe, she gets carried away by the current of the water and is unable to save herself. She realizes that she is about to die, but even at that moment, her thoughts are that she was never able to perform any yagnas and worship the devas in any way. While getting carried away in the water, she finds a creeper floating by. She grabs that creeper and starts chewing it in her mouth. She then offers the juice that came out of the creeper to Indra as a form of worship.

Indra receives her offering and is very pleased with her sense of duty in that she made an offering to him even when she was almost dying. Riding on his chariot, Indra pours water 3 times through the hole in the yoke that is tying up the horses of his chariot. When this water falls on Apaalaa, she is immediately saved from the river and is cured of her leprosy disease as well.

Based on this story, the groom also worships Indra and asks him to keep his wife free from any disease and to keep her as righteous as Apaalaa was. The groom first sends an even number of Brahmins to get water from a river. He then places a symbolic yoke on the head of the bride, and then with mantras, he bathes the bride with water pouring through the hole in the yoke. In today’s times, water is just sprinkled on the bride through the yoke.

The 9 yards saree/೯ ಗಜದ ಸೀರೇ

After the ceremonial bath, the groom gives his wife a new saree. He first worships Indra and requests him, “Oh Indra! Just like how this piece of cloth will be draped around my wife, may knowledge also drape itself around her”. He then presents this saree to her and asks her to wear it in the “panchakachcham” (5 knots) style. The saree should be a new one that has not be worn by anybody else and should have been washed exactly once.

From this point, wearing the panchakachcham is mandatory for both the bride and the groom. The groom starts wearing it immediately after he gives up his brahmacharya (vrata samavarthana), while the bride starts wearing it from this point onwards.

The shastras insist that a couple in the grihasthashrama must wear their dresses in this style. The 5 knots are said to represent the 5 ties described in the Yogashastra. The shastras also say that any activity undertaken by a couple while wearing the 5 knots dresses will always succeed.

The way the panchakachcham is worn by men is very similar throughout India. However, the style of the women wearing the panchakachcham varies widely within communities.

In today’s times, it might not be possible for a couple to wear the panchakachcham all the time. But they should make it a point to wear it when performing any dharmic activities, visiting temples, etc.

Tying of the auspicious thread/ಮಾಂಗಲ್ಯಧಾರಣ

Today, many people very wrongly believe that the tying of the maangalya (auspicious thread) around the bride by the groom signifies the marriage. That is incorrect. The kanyadaana is what signifies the marriage. Also, many people believe that the tying of the maangalya needs to happen during the muhurtha fixed for the wedding. That is also incorrect. It is the kanyadaana that needs to happen during the muhurtham.

The word maangalya comes from the Sanskrit words “man” and “galati” (ಮಂ and ಗಲತಿ) which means that which swallows up obstacles.

After wearing a new saree, the bride is seated facing East and the groom stands in front of her. He then recites the following mantra and then ties the auspicious string around the bride’s neck.

माङ्गल्यम् तन्तुनानेन मम जीवनहेतुना कण्ठे बध्नामि सुभगे त्वम् जीव् शरदश्शतम्

ಮಾಂಗಲ್ಯಂ ತಂತುನಾನೇನ ಮಮ ಜೀವನಹೇತುನಾ ಕಂಠೆ ಬಧ್ನಾಮಿ ಸುಭಗೇ ತ್ವಂ ಜೀವ ಶರದಶ್ಶತಮ್

This is probably a very popular shloka today because it very often heard in movies, etc. Note that this is a shloka and not a mantra as the whole maangalya ritual has no basis in the Vedas or in the Dharma Shastras.

The shloka’s meaning is, “Oh beautiful lady! With the intention of leading a long life, I am tying this auspicious thread around your neck. May you live to see 100 autumns (i.e. live for 100 years)”.

Yoktrabandhana/ಯೋಕ್ತ್ರಬಂಧನ

Yoktra/ಯೋಕ್ತ್ರ refers to a long rope made of the sharaa/ಶರಾ grass. Three strands of this grass are taken together and then plaited (very similar to the way hair is plaited). Such a rope is known as the yoktra. Just like how a brahmachari becomes eligible to perform fire sacrifices after his upanayanam, the groom ties this yoktra around his wife and makes her eligible to perform fire sacrifices with him. This is equivalent to the upanayanam ceremony for the bride.

The groom ties this yoktra around his wife’s lower waist so that it passes over her navel. The mantra that he recites while tying this has this meaning - “I am tying this yoktra around this lady so that she gets a good mind, good fortune and good fortune and also so that she has all the strength to help me in performing fire sacrifices. May she always be happy.”

There are a couple of references as to why this sharaa grass will provide strength to the bride.

Once sage Angirasa went to Swargaloka (heaven). Before going there, he separated a part of his strength, intellect and spiritual prowess and left it on Earth. From this power that he had left behind, the sharaa grass grew. And so, tying this sharaa grass around the mid-section gives all the power and strength to the whole body.

Another story goes that after Indira slayed Vritrasura with the Vajrayudha weapon which was his arrow (or shara/ಶರ), he dropped all its power to Earth where it grew as a gras. Since this grass grew from the shara, it is known as sharaa. And hence, the person who wears this sharaa grass is believed to get all the power and strength of the vajrayudha.

For most yagnas/homas, the husband ties this yoktra around his wife before they start the yagna.

Kapilavachana/ಕಪಿಲಾವಾಚನ

Kapila means that which is desired. In this ritual, the bride and the groom describe what it is that they desire out of the homas (fire sacrifices) that they will perform that day. The mantra says that they request for good children, many cows, and perform many yagnas. Of course, in today’s society, we should interpret the “many cows” as prosperity.

In this ritual, the husband and wife put akshatha (rice with turmeric) on each other’s head and hence this ritulais also known as akshatharopana/ಅಕ್ಷತಾರೋಪಣ.

Udvaaha/ಉದ್ವಾಹ

The groom addresses his bride and says, “Oh bride! May Aditya (Sun God) hold your hand and take you near the holy fire. May the Ashwini Devathas arrange for all the vehicles to take you home after the homa is complete. May you then become friendly with everybody in my house and become the leader in my house.”. Thus saying, he takes his bride near the sacrificial fire and moves her from his left side to his right side. They then sit on the Western side of the fire.

From this point onwards, the bride is know as the groom’s dharmapatni/ಧರ್ಮಪತ್ನಿ and should always stand to the husband’s right side. This also signifies that she is like his right hand.

The couple then perform the first homa of their married life known as the udvaahahoma/ಉದ್ವಾಹಹೋಮ. As mentioned earlier, udvaaha means that which raises up or elevates.

The groom first thanks Somadeva, a Gandharva named Vishwavasu and Agni (fire) for having given him this lady as a wife. It is believed that a girl is first trained by Soma to have a pure mind, pure consciousness, and good behaviour. Then the Gandharva teaches her good speech and finally Agni teaches her how to destroy sins before she gets married.

Wearing the toe ring/ಕಾಲುಂಗುರ ಧಾರಣೆ

The toe ring is one of the 5 identifying symbols of a married women. The toe ring is put on the finger next to the thumb toe on both legs. In some communities, the husband puts it on his wife’s legs, while in some communities, the bride’s maternal uncle or his wife puts it on her leg.

In any case, this ritual has no basis in the shastras and is more of a folk/regional custom.

Holding the hand/ಪಾಣಿಗ್ರಹಣ

This ritual signifies the first time that the groom holds the bride’s hand. Paani/ಪಾಣಿ refers to the part of the hand that begins at the base of the fingers till the tip of the fingers. The groom keeps his right hand facing downwards and the bride’s right hand facing upwards. He then holds her fingers tightly. The shastras say that if the couple want only female children, then the groom should not hold the thumb, but only the remaining 4 fingers of the bride. If they are desirous of having only male children, then the groom should hold only the thumb and if they want both, then the groom should hold all 5 fingers of the bride.

Thus holding the bride’s hand, the groom says mantras addressing his bride. The meanings are -

“Oh bride! The very knowledgeable Devas like Bhaga, Aryaman and Indra have blessed with a wife like you. May we both lead a happy life till the end of this life.”

“I am holding your hand with the intent that we lead a life in gruhasthashrama.”

He then addresses Goddess Saraswathi and says,

“Oh Saraswathi! Please protect this bond. May my wife and I both always be together like this with happiness and may our bond be like a praise to you.”

He then addresses Vayu (God of wind) and says,

“Oh Vayu! May you bless us both with wealth and prosperity and ensure that our minds are always thinking of each other.”

After this sacred act of holding each other’s hands, at least on the wedding day, it is very inappropriate that the bride and the groom shake other people’s hands. Not only is it unhygienic, but also breaks the bond that these two made of not holding anybody else’s hands. The more traditional namaste would be much better.

Saptapadi/ಸಪ್ತಪದಿ

This is a wedding ritual that is very rightly part of popular culture and is commonly referred to movies, etc.

After the paanigrahana, continuing to hold their right hands together, the bride and the groom perform the saptapadi. As the name indicates, this refers to the 7 steps that the bride takes alongwith 7 mantras recited by the groom.

In some communities, 7 small mounds of rice are made and the bride crosses each one per mantra. In some other communities, 7 lines are drawn on a heap of rice with the bride crossing each one per mantra. While in other communities, the bride just walks 7 steps for each mantra. But in all cases, the groom should still be holding the bride’s right hand.

Here are the meanings of the seven mantras -

1. With this first step, may Vishnu grant you good food always and be with you.

2. With this second step, may Vishnu grant you good energy and strength and always protect you.

3. With this third step, may Vishnu give you the intelligence to perform all the activities that are required of you.

4. With this 4th step, may Vishnu grant you all comforts.

5. With this 5th step, may Vishnu grant you good children and all prosperity.

6. With this 6th step, may Vishnu grant you the intellect to always lead a life with the right Dharma.

7. With this 7th step, may Vishnu grant you the power to help me perform the 7 kind of yagnas that I need to perform.

With the bride still standing on the 7th step, the groom addresses her thus -

“Having taken these seven steps, you have now become my best friend. Let our friendship begin with this saptapadi. Let us always live with friendship and may our friendship never break. In any activity that we do, let us always be together, co-operate and perform the activity with love and affection. Let our minds become one and let us lead our life always together.”

“If you are the words, then let me be the music. If you are the music, then let me be the words (let us be inseparable like the lyrics and the music of the Vedas). If I am like the sky, then may you be the Earth. Just like how the sky and the Earth together take care of all living beings, let us look after our children. If I am like the mind, may you be my speech. If am I the saama veda, may you be the Rg Veda.”

After having said this and still holding the bride’s hand, the groom and the bride walk around the fire and sit on the Western side of the holy fire.

It is after the paanigrahana and the saptapadi that the couple are completely considered as husband and wife.

Pradhana Homa/ಪ್ರದಾನ ಹೋಮ

The couple then perform the udvaaha pradhana homa with the bride touching the groom’s right hand with her right hand. The homa begins with offerings to Soma, Gandharva and Agni for having given the groom his wife.

The remaining mantras are primarily offerings to various deities for ensuring prosperity, progeny, alleviation of suffering, avoiding untimely death, etc. There is one mantra requesting Indra to move the bride from her father’s family (ಕುಲ) to her husband’s family (ಕುಲ).

Ashmaarohana/ಆಶ್ಮಾರೋಹಣಮ್

The groom then holds the bride’s hand (as before). They both then get up and going to the Northern side of the holy fire and the groom asks the bride to stand with her right foot on a piece of stone (ಅಮ್ಮಿಕಲ್ಲು). He then addresses his wife and says, “Oh bride! Stand on this stone and become steadfast like this stone. May you not become unsteady by sukha (happiness) or dukha (sorrow). May you destroy your enemies by being like this stone.”

Laaja Homa/ಲಾಜಾಹೋಮ

It is believed that many deva kannikas (daughters of Devas) visit and participate in the wedding ceremony. Amongst them are the daughters of the Devas Aryama, Varuna, Pooshan and Prajapati. These girls attend the wedding alongwith their friends. As their leader (and chaperone) the Deva Aryama accompanies them. This Laaja homa is performed to give offerings to this Aryama and the Devakannikas attending the wedding.

Since women are always honoured and served by other women and since the offerings of this homa are given to the Devakannikas, this homa is performed by the bride. If these kannikas are pleased, then their father’s will be pleased and bless the couple.

Laaja means parched rice (ಭತ್ತದ ಅರಳು). This Laaja is kept in a winnow (ಮೊರ). The groom first purifies his bride’s hands with the darbha grass and water and then wipes it with some ghee. A brother of the bride assists her in performing this homa. The brother fills the cupped hands of the bride with the parches rice twice. The groom then pours some ghee on the parched rice and then holding the bride’s hands, utters the relevant mantras and helps her pour the offering into the fire. This is repeated for each mantra when an offering is to be made.

The mantras makes offerings to different Devathas and their daughters praying for a long life for the couple, happiness, progeny and prosperity. All the mantras are uttered by the groom but are made on behalf of the bride.

Rathaabhimantrana/ರಥಾಭಿಮಂತ್ರಣ

In the past, after the laaja homa, the groom would then take the bride back to his house in a chariot, horse or other vehicles (such as ಪಲ್ಲಕ್ಕಿ). He would then continue the rest of the marriage ceremony in his house. And so, at this point, the bride and the groom would then worship the vehicle that they would use to go back to the groom’s house.

The mantras have the groom first describe the chariot to the bride and then they worship the chariot praying an obstacle-free journey, without any disturbances from natural disasters, bandits, vehicle breakdowns, wild animals, floods etc.

In today’s weddings, the whole wedding is conducted in one place only, but this ritual still has relevance as instead of chariots, we have airplanes, cars etc and the prayer for an obstacle-free journey still holds.

Vadhupravesha/ವಧೂಪ್ರವೇಶ

After having reached the groom’s house, the bride waits outside while the groom brings out the holy fire in a pot. The bride with the groom by her side then enters the groom’s keeping her right foot first into the house and ensuring that she does not step on the door frame.

While entering the house, she says a mantra whose import is, “I am entering this house where my in-laws are looking forward to my arrival, this house where everybody is always well-fed and are happy, this house which is filled with all good people. I enter this house with a happy mind.”

After entering the house with the groom, they both setup the holy fire in the North-East corner of the house and perform the praavishya homa (ಪ್ರಾವಿಶ್ಯ ಹೋಮ).

The mantras of this homa pray to the Devatas to ensure that the bride gets a good welcome, happy and long stay in her husband’s house. The mantras pray that the bride has as much comfort and happiness as she had in her father’s house. They also pray that the bride fills her new house with happiness and joy and ensures that disaters like untimely death do not reach that house.

In today’s weddings, it looks like this praavishya homa is hardly performed and most families just do the vadhupravesha by bringing her customarily into the groom’s room in the kalyana mantapa itself.

Sighting of Dhruva-Arundhati/ಧ್ರುವ ಅರುಂಧತಿದರ್ಶನ

Once the sage couple Vasishta and Arundhati did severe penance to Lord Vishnu and requested a boon from him that they never be separated. Apart from granting them their wish of being inseparabale, Vishnu also blessed upon them a position of very high standing as very respectable stars in the sky.

On the night of the wedding, the bride and the groom look up to the night sky, and first spot the Dhurvataara or pole star and request his blessings to be as steadfast as him.

They then spot the star known as Arundhati and pray for her blessings to be as inseparable as she is to Vasishta.

The bride and the groom should walk a little East or North from their house from where the stars are clearly visible. The pole star is Dhruvataara. The lowest star in the Saptarishi constellation is Vasishta and the small star next to it is Arundhati. The groom points out all these stars to his wife and they worship these stars.

These days, this ritual is done during the day (usually exactly at mid-day) when the sun is shining bright and none of these stars are visible. It has actually become just a moment for the photo and videographers to capture with the groom pointing his hand to the sky and the bride standing next to him. The purpose of the ritual itself seems to be lost.

Sesha Homa/ಶೇಷ ಹೋಮ

This refers to the remaining parts of the Udvaaha homa that are to be completed. The shastras say that these should be done the 3rd or 4th day after the wedding. However, in today’s wedding, immediately after the sighting of Dhruva and Arundhati (during the day).

The mantras of this homa request devathas like Vayu (wind), Aditya (sun), prajapati, etc to remove any defects in the groom and the bride’s fates and in the fate of their yet to be born children.

The mantras then request the devatas of the Earth, rivers, forests, ocean, planets, etc to protect the couple from their enemies. The mantras specifically ask for any curses put on the couple by the enemies to backfire on the enemies themselves.

Lalaata Homa/ಲಲಾಟ ಹೋಮ

After the sesha homa is complete, the bride is made to sit in a East facing position. Facing her, the groom then takes the cup containing the ghee remaining after the sesha homa and keeps 4 drops of ghee on the bride’s forehead. Lalaata means forehead and this homa is called as the lalaata homa. This homa is done with the goal of removing any bad karma written in the bride’s fate.

Next, seated next to each other, the bride and the groom look a each other and utter these mantras.

Bride to groom - “With friendship I look at you. May Lakshmi fill our lives with happiness.”

Groom to bride - “Let us enjoy each other’s company fully. Since we are both young, let us also enjoy the pleasures of the body.”

Hridayanjana/ಹೃದಯಾಂಜನ

The groom then seats the bride on his left lap and hugs her with his left hand and brings her close enough that their hearts are close enough. Then with he dips his right hand’s thumb and ring finger in the ghee remaining from the homas and simultaneously rubs the 2 fingers on his heart and his bride’s heart.

During this time, he says this mantra - “May the Vishwadeva bring our hearts and minds together. May the Ap devata (God of water) ensure that we are always friends. May Vayu ensure that there is always love between us. May Saraswati grant us all the pleasure during the time of our union.”

Nagavalli Mahotsava/ನಾಗವಲ್ಲೀ ಮಹೋತ್ಸವ

Betel leaf (ವೀಳ್ಯದೆಲೆ) is known as nagavalli. Eating betel leaf is considered an item of pleasure and so is forbidden for a brahmachari or an unmarried girl. The first time that a bride and groom eat the betel leaf (prepared in the right fashion) is is known as the nagavalli mahotsava or thaamboolacharvana.

The groom first takes a plate containing betel leaves, betel nuts and some lime (ಸುಣ್ಣ). He first invokes Goddess Mahalakshmi into the plate who is the goddess of thaamboola and then offers dry coconut (ಒಣಕೊಬ್ಬರಿ) to her as an offering. He then gets the thaamboola blessed by the elders in his family.

There are many rules for the betel leaf should be eaten. Firstly, 4 or 8 betel leaves should be eaten. 1 or 3 should never be eaten. The stalk of the leaf and the tip should never be eaten. Then vein connecting the stalk and the tip (known as the sira/ಸಿರಾ) should also not be eaten. To apply lime on the leaf, the leaves should be help upward facing on the left hand and then the lime should be applied only with the right hand thumb (and not any other finger). Also, betel nuts should never be eaten before the betel leaf is put into the mouth.

In many communities, the brother of the bride prepares the nagavalli for his sister and her husband. The brother prepares the nagavalli as per the rules described above and gives one each to his sister and brother-in-law who then put it into each other’s mouths.

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This brings us to the end of all the important rituals in a wedding ceremony. There are a few that I have skipped because they are not that important. Also, there are many many regional and cultural variations between many rituals, but the main set of rituals described in the Vedas and the dharma shastras remain essentially the same across all communities.

One special point I wanted to add here (which is unrelated to the rest of the article) is about celebrating wedding anniversaries. Many people believe that celebrating wedding anniversaries is a Western tradition and is not part of the Indian traditions. That is not true.

The shastras specifically instruct a couple to remember the montha and nakshatra on which they got married. Every samvatsara (year), on that day (as per the Hindu calendar, based on the lunar month and nakshatra, the couple are instructed to enjoy a feast (ಹಬ್ಬದಡಿಗೆ), and fast that night. The next day, they should make special offerings to the sacirficial fire and then feed as many people as is convenient for them. This is known as “Vaivaahika Vaarshikotsavaanga Sthaalipaaka/ವೈವಾಹಿಕವಾರ್ಷಿಕೋತ್ಸವಾಂಗ ಸ್ಥಾಲೀಪಾಕ).

Of course, these days most people celebrate their wedding anniversaries as per the Western calendar.

ಆಡ್ತಾ ಆಡ್ತಾ...

One of my earliest memories are of my paternal grandmother telling me stories as she used to feed me my lunch at our house or during bedtime in Trichy. And one of the stories that she used to tell me has stuck with me and I can never forget it. Now, I narrate this story to Godha any time she asks for a story during dinner or at bedtime. And it has become one of her favourites too.

Here is the story in Kannada. Pardon my Kannada spelling mistakes (I never learnt Kannada reading/writing formally).

ಒಂದು ಊರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ ಇತ್ತಂತೆ. ಅದು ಒಂದು ದಿನ ಊಟ ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಕಾಡಿಗೆ ಹೋಯಿತಂತೆ. ಆ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಗೆ ಆವತ್ತು ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ ಆರು ಅಕ್ಕಿ ಕಾಳುಗಳು ಸಿಕ್ಕಿತಂತೆ. ಆ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ ಬಹಳ ಜಾಣೆಯಂತೆ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅದು ಮೂರು ಅಕ್ಕಿ ಕಾಳನ್ನು ತಿಂದು, ಮೂರು ಕಾಳುಗಳನ್ನು ಮಾರನೆ ದಿನಕ್ಕೆ ತಿನ್ನೊಕ್ಕೆ ಅಂತ ಒಂದು ಮರದ ಗೂಡಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಇಟ್ಟುಬಿಟ್ಟು ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಯಿತಂತೆ.

ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಕಾಡಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಬಿರುಗಾಳಿ ಮಳೆಯಾಯಿತಂತೆ. ಮತ್ತೆ ಬೆಳ್ಳಗ್ಗೆ ಆ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ ತನ್ನ ಮೂರು ಕಾಳು ಅಕ್ಕಿಯನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋದರೆ, ರಾತ್ರಿಯ ಮಳೆಬಿರುಗಾಳಿಯಿಂದ, ಆ ಅಕ್ಕಿಕಾಳು ಇಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆ ಕಲ್ಲು-ಮಣ್ಣಿನಿಂದ ಮುಚ್ಚಿ ಹೋಗಿತಂತೆ. ಪಾಪ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಗೆ ತುಂಬ ಬೇಜಾರು ಆಯಿತಂತೆ.

ಹೇಗಾದರು ಮಾಡಿ ಆ ಮೂರು ಕಾಳು ಅಕ್ಕಿಯನ್ನು ತಿನ್ನಲೆ ಬೇಕು ಅಂತ, ಆ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಯು ಒಂದು ಉಪಾಯವನ್ನು ಯೋಚಿಸಿತಂತೆ. ಹತ್ತಿರದ ಹಳ್ಳಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ, ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದ ಒಬ್ಬ ಕಮ್ಮಾರನಿಗೆ ಹೇಳಿತಂತೆ - "ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ ಆರಕ್ಕಿ ತಂದೆ, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ತಿಂದು ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟೆ, ಹುಚ್ಚುಗಾಳಿ ಬಂದು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯಿತು, ಕೆತ್ತಿಕೊಡು ಕಮ್ಮಾರನೇ". ಆದರೆ ಆ ಕಮ್ಮಾರನು ಈ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಯ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಕೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲವಂತೆ.

ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಗೆ ಕೋಪಬಂತಂತೆ. ಅಲ್ಲಿನ ರಾಜನ ಅರಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಯಿತಂತೆ. ರಾಜನಿಗೆ ಹೇಳಿತಂತೆ - "ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ ಆರಕ್ಕಿ ತಂದೆ, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ತಿಂದು ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟೆ, ಹುಚ್ಚುಗಾಳಿ ಬಂದು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯಿತು, ಕೆತ್ತಿಕೊಡದ ಕಮ್ಮಾರನ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಲ್ಲು ಅರಸೇ". ಆದರೆ ಆ ಅರಸನು ಈ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಯ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಕೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲವಂತೆ.

ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಗೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಕೋಪಬಂತಂತೆ. ಒಂದು ಇಲಿಯನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕಿ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೇಳಿತಂತೆ - "ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ ಆರಕ್ಕಿ ತಂದೆ, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ತಿಂದು ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟೆ, ಹುಚ್ಚುಗಾಳಿ ಬಂದು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯಿತು, ಕೆತ್ತಿಕೊಡದ ಕಮ್ಮಾರನ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಲ್ಲದ ಅರಸನ ಭಂಡಾರವನ್ನಿ ಕಚ್ಚು ಇಲಿಯೇ". ಆದರೆ ಆ ಇಲಿಯು ಈ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಯ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಕೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲವಂತೆ.

ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಗೆ ಇಲಿಯಮೇಲೆ ಕೋಪಬಂತಂತೆ. ಆಲ್ಲೆ ಒಂದು ಬೆಕ್ಕು ಇತಂತೆ. ಆ ಬೆಕ್ಕಿಗೆ ಹೇಳಿತಂತೆ - "ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ ಆರಕ್ಕಿ ತಂದೆ, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ತಿಂದು, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟೆ, ಹುಚ್ಚುಗಾಳಿ ಬಂದು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯಿತು, ಕೆತ್ತಿಕೊಡದ ಕಮ್ಮಾರನ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಲ್ಲದ ಅರಸನ ಭಂಡಾರವ ಕಚ್ಚದ ಇಲಿಯನ್ನು ಕಚ್ಚು ಬೆಕ್ಕೇ". ಆ ಬೆಕ್ಕು ಈ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಯ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಕೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲವಂತೆ.

ಮತ್ತೆ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ ಓಂದು ನಾಯನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕಿತಂತೆ. ಆ ನಾಯಿಗೆ ಹೇಳಿತಂತೆ - "ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ ಆರಕ್ಕಿ ತಂದೆ, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ತಿಂದು, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟೆ, ಹುಚ್ಚುಗಾಳಿ ಬಂದು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯಿತು, ಕೆತ್ತಿಕೊಡದ ಕಮ್ಮಾರನ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಲ್ಲದ ಅರಸನ ಭಂಡಾರವ ಕಚ್ಚದ ಇಲಿಯ ಕಚ್ಚದ ಬೆಕ್ಕನ್ನು ಕಚ್ಚು ನಾಯೇ". ಆದರೆ ಆ ನಾಯು ಈ ಗುಬ್ಬಚಿಯ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಕೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲವಂತೆ.

ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬಳು ಅಜ್ಜಿ ಇದ್ದಳಂತೆ. ಈ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ ಆ ಅಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಹೇಳಿತಂತೆ - "ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ ಆರಕ್ಕಿ ತಂದೆ, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ತಿಂದು, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟೆ, ಹುಚ್ಚುಗಾಳಿ ಬಂದು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯಿತು, ಕೆತ್ತಿಕೊಡದ ಕಮ್ಮಾರನ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಲ್ಲದ ಅರಸನ ಭಂಡಾರವ ಕಚ್ಚದ ಇಲಿಯ ಕಚ್ಚದ ಬೆಕ್ಕ ಕಚ್ಚದ ನಾಯಿಯಮೇಲೆ ಬಿಸಿಗಂಜಿ ಸುರಿ ಆಜ್ಜಿಯೇ". ಆ ಅಜ್ಜಿಯು ಇ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಕೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲವಂತೆ.

ಆ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ ಕೋಪದಲ್ಲಿ, ಆ ಅಜ್ಜಿಯ ಮನೆಯ ಹಸುವಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಹೇಳಿತಂತೆ - "ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ ಆರಕ್ಕಿ ತಂದೆ, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ತಿಂದು, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟೆ, ಹುಚ್ಚುಗಾಳಿ ಬಂದು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯಿತು, ಕೆತ್ತಿಕೊಡದ ಕಮ್ಮಾರನ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಲ್ಲದ ಅರಸನ ಭಂಡಾರವ ಕಚ್ಚದ ಇಲಿಯ ಕಚ್ಚದ ಬೆಕ್ಕ ಕಚ್ಚದ ನಾಯಿಯಮೇಲೆ ಬಿಸಿಗಂಜಿ ಸುರಿಯದ ಅಜ್ಜಿಯ ತಿವಿ ಹಸುವೇ". ಆ ಹಸುವು ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಯ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಗಮನಿಸಲಿಲ್ಲವಂತೆ.

ಅಲ್ಲೆ ಪಕ್ಕದಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಹಸುವಿನ ಕರುವಿತಂತೆ. ಈ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ ಆ ಕರುವಿಗೆ ಹೇಳಿತಂತೆ - "ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ ಆರಕ್ಕಿ ತಂದೆ, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ತಿಂದು, ಮೂರಕ್ಕಿ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟೆ, ಹುಚ್ಚುಗಾಳಿ ಬಂದು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯಿತು, ಕೆತ್ತಿಕೊಡದ ಕಮ್ಮಾರನ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಲ್ಲದ ಅರಸನ ಭಂಡಾರವ ಕಚ್ಚದ ಇಲಿಯ ಕಚ್ಚದ ಬೆಕ್ಕ ಕಚ್ಚದ ನಾಯಿಯಮೇಲೆ ಬಿಸಿಗಂಜಿ ಸುರಿಯದ ಅಜ್ಜಿಯ ತಿವಿಯದ ಹಸುವ ಮೊಲೆಯನ್ನು ಕಚ್ಚು ಕರುವೇ".

ಕೊನೇಗೆ, ಆ ಕರುವಿಗೆ ಈ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಮೇಲೆ ಕರುಣೆ ಬಂತು. ಅದು ತನ್ನ ತಾಯಿಯಾದ ಆ ಹಸುವಿನ ಮೊಲೆಯನ್ನು ಕಚ್ಚೊಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಯಿತಂತೆ. ಆ ಹಸುವು ಹೆದರಿ, ಆ ಅಜ್ಜಿಯನ್ನಿ ತಿವಿಯಲ್ಲು ಹೋಯಿತಂತೆ. ಆ ಅಜ್ಜಿಯು ಹೆದರಿ, ಆ ನಾಯಿಯಮೇಲೆ ಬಿಸಿಗಂಜಿ ಸುರಿಯಲು ಹೊರಟಲಂತೆ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೆದರಿ, ಆ ನಾಯಿಯು ಆ ಬೆಕ್ಕನ್ನು ಕಚ್ಚಲು ಓಡಿತಂತೆ. ಅದನ್ನು ಕಂಡು, ಆ ಬೆಕ್ಕು, ಆ ಇಲಿಯನ್ನು ಹೆದರಿಸಿತಂತೆ. ಆಗ, ಆ ಇಲಿಯು, ರಾಜನ ಭಂಡಾರವನ್ನು ನಾಶಮಾಡಲು ಹೊರಟಿತಂತೆ. ಆ ರಾಜ ತನ್ನ ಭಂಡಾರವನ್ನು ಕಾಪಾಡಲು, ಕಮ್ಮಾರನನ್ನು ಕಟ್ಟಿತರಲು ಆದೇಶ ಕೊಟ್ತನಂತೆ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೆದರಿ, ಕಮ್ಮಾರನು ಕೂಡಲೆ ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿಯ ಜೊತೆ ಕಾಡಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ, ಆ ಮರದ ಪೊಟ್ಟ್ರೆಯನ್ನು ಕೆತ್ತಿ ಕೊಟ್ಟನಂತೆ.

ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ ಸಂತೋಷದಿಂದ ತನ್ನ ಮೂರುಕಾಳು ಅಕ್ಕಿಯನ್ನು ತಿಂದು ತನ್ನ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹಾರಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯಿತಂತೆ.

ಕಥೆ ಕಾಡಿಗೆ ಹೋಯಿತು, ನಾವು ನಾಡಿಗೆ ಬಂದೆವು!!!!!

So much for the sake of 3 grains of rice :-) What is nice about this story is that it kind of lulls the kids into sleep because of the repetitive strain the story going "ಆಡ್ತ ಆಡ್ತ...". My parents tell me that for a long time, I had never heard the whole thing as I would fall asleep somewhere in the middle.

And in the story my grandmother told me, the sparrow did not have a name. But Godha would never let me get ahead without giving the ಗುಬ್ಬಚ್ಚಿ a name. And so I asked her to suggest a name and she has named the sparrow ಸರಸ್ವತಿ/Saraswathi. An interesting name for the persistent sparrow!!!!

Some things to note:

• The story teaches the value of saving (the sparrow saving 3 grains of rice for the next day)
• The value of persistence (try try again)

p.s.: When I find the time, I will translate this into English.

Types of Marriages

Marriages have always held a very important role in India. It is probably the most important amongst the basic 16 samskAras or rituals that everybody is expected to undergo during their life. As per the Dharma shastras followed in India, marriages have been divided into 8 types. It looks like this classification is made based on the qualities of the bride, the groom and the way the groom approaches the bride's family with the marriage proposal.

The main dharma shastras referenced are the "Manu Smrithi" and "Ashvalayana's Grihya Sutras".


brAhma vivAha(ब्राह्मविवाह:/ಬ್ರಾಹ್ಮ ವಿವಾಹ) - For this type of marriage, a bride's father looks for a groom who is well-educated, knowledgeable, well-mannered, healthy, and is appropriate for the bride. The father then invites the groom, welcomes him home, honors him appropriately and arranges for the marriage of his daughter to such a groom.

As per the dharmashastras, the father's intention with getting his daughter married to such a groom was so that they lead a life of dharma (or duty) and produce worthy offspring who in turn will become good citizens and live according to dharma. The shastras say that offspring born to the bride of such a marriage will remove his/her own sins and those of 10 generations before and 10 generations after (a total fo 21 generations). This type of marriage has been hailed as the best as per the shastras.

daiva vivAha(दैवविवाह:/ದೈವ ವಿವಾಹ) - After the performance of yagnas, many times the the conductor of the yagna gives away his daughter to the Ritwik or the head priest who performed the yagna. Since this marriage is associated with rituals connected with Devathas, this is known as the daiva marriage. The daughter is given away in place of the dakshina to be given to the Ritwik. The father of the bride honors the main priest by giving him his daughter.

It looks like in the days of yore when yagnas were very common, this type of marriage was a common practice in some communities and there are accounts that many head priests ended up with many wives from the many yagnas they officiated over. Maintaining such large families might have been hard for these head-priests. Because of this and also because of the drastic reduction in the number of yagnas that take place, this type of marriage is no longer seen anywhere.

On certain occasions, in some communities, a token amount of money is given to the Ritwik instead of a daughter in marriage. Many commentators have strongly suggested that this not really a marriage of exchanging a daughter for services rendered by the head priest but an honoring of the priest by the father.

ArSHa vivAha(आर्षविवाह:/ಆರ್ಷ ವಿವಾಹ) - This type of marriage seems to have a fixed set of rules on when it can occur. If a man helps the doer of a yagna conduct the yagna by donating one or two cows (with the intention that the cows and their produce be used for the yagna), then the one who conducts the yagna can honor the donor of the cows by giving him his daughter in marriage. Note that the father of the bride cannot take more than one or two cows, and the intention of taking those cow(s) should be specifically to conduct a yagna.

This type of marriages are not seen any more.

prAjApatya vivAha(प्राजापत्यविवाह:/ಪ್ರಾಜಾಪತ್ಯ ವಿವಾಹ) - The father of a bride searches and finds a groom who is appropriate and worthy of his daughter, and arranges for his marriage. He instructs both the bride and the groom to live according to follow their duties and live according to their dharma in both worldly and spiritual matters. One of the main aims of this marriage is for the couple to lead a happy life, and have children who are worthy citizens.

Both the husband and the wife have equal standing in such a marriage and together lead a life in pursuit of dharma (righteous duty), artha (prosperity), and kama (desire). During the marriage rituals, the father of the bride specifically instructs the bride and the groom that they should live equally following the pursuits of dharma, artha and kama.

In today's Indian society, I think this is the marriage that is most common and the one that we colloquially know as "arranged marriage".

Asura vivAha(आसुरविवाह:/ಆಸುರ ವಿವಾಹ) - If a groom pays money to the bride or the bride's family and gets married to the bride, then the marriage is known as Asura marriage. In many cases, the bride might choose to get married to a groom based on how much money he is willing to give her. Unlike the rakshasa or paishachya marriages, the bride cannot be forced into marriage. It has to be with her consent.


This marriage does seem like one where the bride is being sold for money. However, as per the shastras, even the bride can choose to get married to somebody who is willing to pay her money.

gAndharva vivAha(गान्धर्वविवाह:/ಗಾಂಧರ್ವ ವಿವಾಹ) - This is one of the marriages that has been popularly known due to its depictions in Indian movies. As per the shastras, if a girl and a boy decide to get married to each other out of their desires for each other, and reach an agreement that they will get married, then it is known as a gAndharva marriage. Note, that the parents of the bride have no role to play in such a marriage. As per the shastras, such a marriage is only allowed amongst adults.

This type of marriage is a pretty ancient practice as mention of this marriage has been made in the RgVeda. Most of the shastras seem to indicate that such marriages took place after the bride and groom had known each other for a long time, and then decided to get married rather than a marriage of "love at first sight". It is also indicated that if a boy or girl decide to get married in this way, then they should select a partner who is worthy of them to ensure the success of the marriage.

I guess this is what is colloquially known as "love marriage".

rAkSHasa vivAha(राक्षसविवाह:/ರಾಕ್ಷಸ ವಿವಾಹ) - If a man gets married to a woman using force i.e. he does not obtain the consent of the woman or her family for the marriage, and uses violence and force to kidnap the woman with the intention of getting married to her, then it is known as rakshasa marriage. The shastras describe that there might be war and fighting between the groom and the bride's family with the latter trying to prevent the abduction of the bride.

There are some instances in our puranas and itihasas where such marriages seem to have taken place - such as Krishna abducting Rukmini and fighting with Rukmini's family. However, in most of these cases, the bride had wished for the marriage though her family was opposed to it. This is not an example of rakshasa marriage. For the rakshasa marriage, the abduction has to be against the will of the bride too.

paishAca vivAha(पैशाचविवाह:/ಪೈಶಾಚ ವಿವಾಹ) - This is considered to be the lowest type of marriage. It is similar to the rakshasa marriage, except that the bride is abducted while is sleeped, drugged or otherwise unconscious. And so, while the abduction is against the wishes of the bride or her family, it also happens without the knowledge of the bride.

There are a few things of interest to note from the above descriptions.

• In all cases the act of the giving of the bride to the groom or the kanyAdAna is considered extremely auspicious and the highest form of dAna.
• There is no concept of "dowry" or "varadakshina" in the shastras. If at all anything, in one or two types of marriages, the groom has to pay the bride or her family (opposite of dowry). And so, this whole concept of dowry is against our shastras and seems to be something of a more recent origin.
• The parents of the groom seem to have no role to play in the marriage process. All the formalities, decision-making and the rituals are between the groom, the bride and the father of the bride.
• The last 2 types of marriage (rakshasa & paishachya) specifically state that such a marriage is against the wishes of the bride. This would imply that the first 6 types of marriage implicitly include the consent of the bride in the marriage. In no case do the shastras indicate that the marriage can be done against the will or consent of the bride except in the rakshasa and paishacya marriages.

I wrote up this article as I found the 8 types of marriages in ancient India interesting. All the material for the description of the marriages is from the book "Samskara Mahodadhi:" written by the eminently knowledgeable and profound author Sri.A.Ananthanarasimhachar.

Interesting Tale

This was an interesting tale about a Bhutanese Buddhist monk narrated to us by our guide Mr.Tandin Dorji while touring in Bhutan.

Once a Buddhist monk was walking through a forest where he was a accosted by a fair lady who refused to let him pass unless he fulfilled one of her 3 conditions:

• Either he had to marry her
• Or he had to kill and eat a goat that she had with her
• Or he had to drink a bottle of Ara (a local liquor brewed from red rice)

For a Buddhist monk, all 3 are forbidden as he vowed to a life of celibacy, his faith does not let him harm or kill other living beings, and as a monk he is not allowed to consume liquor. But since he was not left with any choice, he debated and decided that the best option for him was to drink the bottle of Ara, which is what he did.

And then in his drunken stupor, he ended up marrying the woman, and killing and eating the goat. You can figure out the moral of the story...